Shift of Change?

I am sorry!

I know that it might be kind of worthless but it was only today I really understand the mistakes I have made repeatedly throughout the year. Only today have I realized what an arse I can be sometimes. Only now I know what I have to do to make things right.

Having been busy with both my course and council activities, I barely have time for myself. Well I have also mismanaged my time and there’re no excuses for it, no doubt. But more than that, it was made known to me what I shouldn’t have done all along.

I have always said and insisted that other people’s impression of you doesn’t matter. True it doesn’t but when you yourself are beginning to have doubts about it. It is time to change. Well for me, I still hope that it isn’t too late. Or is it?

I was told time and time again that I have been childish. Well, just like a child, I refused to believe them and go on with my ways. Coming to think of it, it has been true all along that I am too naïve and yeah, stupid. The way I talk and how I bring myself sometimes even disgust me when I reflect back. Undoubtedly, there are times to let go and all, but I seem to be doing all of it at the wrong time! Up till today, I still need to be reminded of when to be serious and when to play!

Well, all I hope is that I can and will change for the better. Therefore I still need all of your help. Do remind me about what a fool I was before this and advice me on how to change. I really need that people! For those that have done so. Thanks a lot! I will always try to remember them and you of course for all of the help you all have given me. You know who you are =)

Losing focus?

‘Fine! I’ll do that soon,’ seems to be coming out of my mouth extremely often. True, it’ll eventually be done but always not at the right time. It’s kind of frustrating when everything seems to be done only at the last minute. It’s not that I cannot bear to be the last or whatever you may think but this is just not me! (Alright, maybe too my ego has overtaken me..) 

Somehow, the last two semesters isn’t like that it used to be. The fire in me was raging when I came into the college. Always wanting to be the best and never willing to lose an ounce of knowledge. Once I have even tore my answer sheet when I couldn’t find a solution to the problem. I would have been so frustrated if I couldn’t find the answer to any problems, be it a difficult one or the contrary. Everything seems to be so long ago now. And, as time goes by, the burning flame seemed to have lost its fuel. There’s still an aim, but there’s no more an urge nor a desire to perform. The passion of being curious is just….lost? As sad as it may seem, I have to admit that I am living up to being a Malaysian and couldn’t care about anything else. Have i been in my comfort zone for too long and got cocky? Assuming that everything will turn out to be fine?.. and yes. What I’m saying here is conflicting with my last article but this is just the case.

Procrastination is a deadly disease. It gets you addicted once you start doing it. The renowned Victor Lee (as he insists that his name should be here, =P) said that, ‘procrastinating is like masturbation at the beginning it feels great, but at the end of the day you are just f***ing yourself.’ As crude as it may seem it is true. And after that you’ll feel so crappy that you don’t know where or what to start with. Just like now, I’m bored although I have tons of work to be done. And when something gets undone or gone astray, we’ll tend to blame anything or anyone but ourselves. We’ll then indulge ourselves in self-pity and waste more time instead. When you come to think of it, you’re actually being an arse but that’s exactly what’ll happen…

I’m sure many of us out there are like that. Maybe I just need a break from everything? Or is it just another excuse? sigh. Help?

--ding--

Something out of nowhere?

It seems kind of weird that I’m finally returning to this page. Despite all my promises I have indeed neglected it for a long time. Those empty promises have indeed irritated some quarters and I’m sorry for that. Maybe blogging just isn’t my cup of tea. Or maybe I’ve been worried about the perception I would have gotten if my comments are published to the whole world. Whatever it seems to be, the fact that the excuse that I have always been giving; ‘I have nothing to say’ is not anything like my personality. (At least according to my good friend = ) )

Anyways here I am trying to bore you again. However so, there is something that really seems to bug me. It always seems that we Malaysians would never learn from anything. We would always fall first and claim that we have learnt our lessons, yet nothing ever changes. We will (and hopefully not forever) have the ‘tidak apa’ attitude and never seem to be able to accept anything comments or criticisms from anyone.

This is happening so rampantly that we ourselves don’t even notice nor bother about it anymore. When talking to others for instance, it always seem to disgust me that when someone(may it be me or anyone else) tries to correct another on his/her pronunciation, they would not only be not bothered to correct themselves but would even say, ‘come on, we’re Malaysians, it is ok to pronounce wrongly.’ I’m sorry to say this but it is NOT! What is going on with us??!!! It is because of this bloody attitude that we’re still stuck in the shithole we’re in. So what if others talk and act like this? Must we then idolize the wrongdoers and stood down to their levels as well? Wake up people! It may not seem to be a big thing but it is because of this that people perceive us as what we are; a country with first world facilities but third world mentalities. Is there even anything to be proud of?

Over the years, we have always been comparing ourselves with Indonesia, Vietnam, Cambodia and etc… which are all way behind us! Why can’t we look in front of us for once and compare with the better countries? Japan for instance got bombarded by the United States on 1945. Fine it was 12 years before we were free from colonialism, yet look at us today? Do you really think that we’re just 12 years behind Japan? Bullshit. Even a 10 year old kid could tell you the difference. And they had to start from scratch, for goodness sake! We at least got the reins from the British. True it isn’t much, but it was something at least. Worst still, we have had endless resources at that time; rubber, oil palm, gold, petroleum even. And what have they got? A cluster of volcanic mountains that ‘menstruates’ (if I may use this term) every couple of decades and of course with an add on bonus of a shaky grounds! So now, what have we got to complain about? Alright fine, some ignorant people may still argue that their people have naturally been smart and hardworking for they have overtaken the US even, at least in a couple of sectors. Look at Singapore then! It is just a tiny island that’s could not even be seen on the map, and yet the tiny little speck has a much stronger economy. It is so well known that its currency (and not ours is recognized) all round the world! This means that people round the world actually have more faith in their country! Just go to any money changers around the world and be rest assured that your SG dollars and not Malaysian RINGGIT are the ones that is tradable. Again the question arises, why is this so? Well, they again have nothing but trade and yet, they have proven time and time again to be more successful than us. Who have we got to blame now?

This sickening attitude has just got to stop! Over the years it seems that although we are apparently moving forward, our mental ability has indeed shrunken! I bet that our ex pre-independence leaders would actually be so disappointed about what’s happening to our country that they are actually turning in their graves. Whatever said above is just the tip of the iceberg. I’m not saying that I’m perfect but at the very least I am aware of this and trying to change for the better. Wake up people or before you know it, your presence will turn out be insignificant and would be perceived even as to be a waste of space! 

--ding--

Revival

Well i'm been under some peer pressure to revive my online diary that's so far consists only of craps! It seems that my blog has been left empty my entire birthday month. Maybe some pictures will be up soon when I get too bored of law.

Anyways i wonder why i am here right now while i am supposed to be pouring my so called full concentration on my books right now. (and worst still i'm going out later -.- ) Alright, ta for now =D Who knows for those of you that read this boring page, there'll be some stuffs up later =D 

Cheers!

Hermes...

Well being the messenger God, i'm just taking over His job and passing a message.

A friend of mine is doing her moral project and is seeking some donations. If any of you are interested in purchasing these items or just wanna donate some cash, just contact me =) thanks folks. Alright here goes,

Hey guys,

I’m doing a fund raising project for my moral studies project in conjunction with Humans Rights week in Sunway University College. Besides collecting donations, I’m also selling some stuff. All proceeds will go to charity so I don’t earn anything. All things sold are below market price. All the funds raised will go to WAO(Women’s Aid organization) or CREST(refugees and cyclone victims). I highly recommend that you guys buy the chair with cooler bag because it’s very useful when we go for Frisbee competitions. I bought one too! I’ll be coming to training today so whoever is interested please bring some money. Thanks very much and have a nice day! =)

Chair, RM 30

Side view
Front view

with an advanced cooler bag :D

Thermos Flask, RM40Pouch, RM1

A Mug, RM 3

Another Mug, same price =D

Bowl, also 3 bucks

And lastly an alarm clock, RM 1 each

Well, I'm off to study for my progress test now! Law tomorrow... I badly need luck now.(if it does help)... Ciaoz

Malaysian Student Leaders Summit 2008 (msls 08)

Awkwardly, i have never expected to attend this seminar in the beginning(I was actually registered by my sister -.- ) Anyways when i got the confirmation letter i got quite excited, and true enough i ended up there.

AUSMAT's talent night was held the night before and naturally, me being a busybody stayed back and went for it. At last i came back only at 1 am and was forced to wake up at 530 am to get to the summit.

Honestly i have never attended this kind of really formal seminars before and i thought i looked quite weird in a blazer. -.- (and apparently i did) Worse still i was ALONE =( There wasn't anyone that i knew were there...Haha

Well, i arrived early last Saturday, so i turned 'sua ku' and took a couple of pictures.

Nikko Hotel

The walkway

The hall

And apparently i look as though i am 20 years old!!! (some even mentioned 23 =.=)

The hall was fitted to fit about 500 of us and we were like ants there. All fully formal and stuffed into the same place. And gosh! There were so so so many brains there! Lots of them were studying overseas in renowned unis like Oxford, Cambridge, Warwick and such. I seriously felt so small compared to them when announcing i was from Sunway... :D


Anyway the way these students talked really opened my eyes. Haha. i was really dumbfounded by the way they spoke. The issues they brought up were quite alien to me. Just realized how much inferior i was compared to them, in both language and knowledge.

Pak Lah is somewhere in front i guess.... PS: his speech was the 'best' as he'd 'so happen' forgotten bout it...
And he was grilled too !!

On the whole the event was awesome. Food was ok, since its free, so i guess its justifiable. (Accountants..... LOL ) Met a couple of new friends all dispersed round the world too and it was just great. Haha. I feel really like a new person after the event... although this may sound dramatic but i just dunno how else to put it.

Try looking for me :P ! Hint: my eyes were closed.....

Anyways that's all for now. Need my beauty sleep. And really lagging behind in my homework..ish! And lastly, some crap!



Take care and cheers people!

PS: We really got to start doing something and be united before someone elses start sodomising us again.. (Tahun Meliwat? :D)

written out of total randomness

As usual i have been neglecting my blog and there were even apparently cobwebs all round it. So glad to say i am back... maybe for a short period maybe long, who knows?

Classes started like 3 weeks back and i'm badly in need of help now. Its not that i'm busy with classes and all(in fact i'm quite free :D ) It is just that there is nothing to push me through...

Hmm well with a total of 3 subjects this sem, it all seems quite ok.. but already law is killing me. The classes are not bad but once the textbook is opened, you'll be sleeping after 2 lines. =.= even so, in just 3 weeks i am SUPPOSED to have covered 50 pages of the text book with maybe a trillion case laws and a gazillion sections.(Have I? Well... only someone up there knows the answer :D)

Costing seems fine but alas... I am targeted (I wonder why...?) I haven't even touched the textbook so i cannot comment anything bout it yet... the textbook looks cartoonic(if there is such a word) and cheap though...so it isnt my fault :D !! Typical Sunway...

Tax is great only on the surface =D. Seems to really have lost touch of it even with only 3 weeks into classes. T9 seems to be so straight forward now. Haha. Lots of laws as usual. Maybe a couple of million of sections; but i guess i can take it(so far)

The only thing that seems to be interesing now is frisbee. With a competition tomorrow, and just after a buffet dinner, i'm just hoping that i don't vommit tomorrow. (finger's crossed =P) Well, someone up there has always been looking after me. He'll be there tomorrow :D.

A few good quotes i have heard recently:

~ Sometimes the truth isn't just enough. People deserve more than the truth. They deserve to have their faith rewarded...

~ There is no defeat in death; victory comes into vending what we know is right while we still live..

Sounds familiar? :D

Anyways just a shout out to everyone everywhere: All the best and take care =)

Ciaoz!!!