Losing focus?

‘Fine! I’ll do that soon,’ seems to be coming out of my mouth extremely often. True, it’ll eventually be done but always not at the right time. It’s kind of frustrating when everything seems to be done only at the last minute. It’s not that I cannot bear to be the last or whatever you may think but this is just not me! (Alright, maybe too my ego has overtaken me..) 

Somehow, the last two semesters isn’t like that it used to be. The fire in me was raging when I came into the college. Always wanting to be the best and never willing to lose an ounce of knowledge. Once I have even tore my answer sheet when I couldn’t find a solution to the problem. I would have been so frustrated if I couldn’t find the answer to any problems, be it a difficult one or the contrary. Everything seems to be so long ago now. And, as time goes by, the burning flame seemed to have lost its fuel. There’s still an aim, but there’s no more an urge nor a desire to perform. The passion of being curious is just….lost? As sad as it may seem, I have to admit that I am living up to being a Malaysian and couldn’t care about anything else. Have i been in my comfort zone for too long and got cocky? Assuming that everything will turn out to be fine?.. and yes. What I’m saying here is conflicting with my last article but this is just the case.

Procrastination is a deadly disease. It gets you addicted once you start doing it. The renowned Victor Lee (as he insists that his name should be here, =P) said that, ‘procrastinating is like masturbation at the beginning it feels great, but at the end of the day you are just f***ing yourself.’ As crude as it may seem it is true. And after that you’ll feel so crappy that you don’t know where or what to start with. Just like now, I’m bored although I have tons of work to be done. And when something gets undone or gone astray, we’ll tend to blame anything or anyone but ourselves. We’ll then indulge ourselves in self-pity and waste more time instead. When you come to think of it, you’re actually being an arse but that’s exactly what’ll happen…

I’m sure many of us out there are like that. Maybe I just need a break from everything? Or is it just another excuse? sigh. Help?

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